Every year we all start with New Year resolutions like I’m going to exercise more, eat healthier, start going to bed earlier, be happier (whatever that means) and so on. And that’s what I always did. And for some reason, year after year it has never worked. You just feel that something isn’t right like something is missing. I always wondered why. Did I concentrate on the wrong thing? Did I not try hard enough? Am I not meant to feel all the goodness? Or is that’s just what life is about? And so, this year, just for the sake of it, I decided to do it differently. This year I didn’t make any resolutions, I just promised to love myself, be gentle with myself, relieve the need to be perfect and instead just focus on being me. And in the past few months I realised, maybe that is the piece of the puzzle that is missing, and if it’s not there, maybe that’s why nothing else seems to fit.
When you live in the place like New York City, work amongst thousands of beautiful women and have a daily reminder of how “perfect” everyone’s life is on social media (oh, you mighty Instagram), it is very easy to lose the sense of who you are, your morals, your values. You try to fit in the template, be like someone else, act how others want you to act, wear clothes you think you should wear, constantly try to be someone else. You do that for a few years and then, all of a sudden you are not good enough anymore not just for others, but also for yourself. And that’s the tragedy. And we all know, if you are not enough for yourself, you will never be enough for someone else. And from my own experience, and please do correct me if you think I’m wrong, when something is not how you want it to be, most of the time it’s not your annoying boyfriend, your agent, selfish friend or that person across the street who looked at you the wrong way who needs fixing, it’s you!
So this year, I said no more! I’m not looking outwards anymore for all that goodness and the feeling of wholeness, I’m looking inwards. I’m not the victim of my life, I am the creator of my life. So here it is …I love myself! I love myself with all my weirdness and quirkiness, with my ups and downs, good and bad days, with all my successes and lessons ( not failures), my silly laughs and my imperfections. And I say sorry to myself for all the judgement, complaints, rudeness and insensitivity towards myself in the past years. There is only one of me in this world, so I should treat myself as something unique and special. This year I won’t compete with anyone else, but only with myself. I’ll strive to do better every day. And all other women in the world will be my inspiration, my source of admiration, my light.
What is your New Year promise to yourself?